Could you live in a sex-less marriage?

Committed but without sexual intimacy

Could you do it? At least 20% of married among us are doing that right now

Sex less than 10 times per year

Newsweek has huge article on that this week – because of 2 new books

And what was surprising was how many sex-less marriages there are where it is the MAN who does not want to have sex

And I am trying to figure out why

Bob and Susan Berkowitz will be on the show

They surveyed and interviewed 4000 couples – long term, hetero, where man was primary reason they were not having sex

60% said their wives were not sexually adventurous or did not seem to enjoy sex

Amazingly, when wives were asked why they thought their husbands were uninterested n sex, 70% said they had no clue

So that means basically there is no communication

Just frustration – men wanting to but not expressing it and women wondering why

May be the biggest conundrum in world history

Men feel guilty asking for sex and women have no idea why men do not ask

What would Jesus say?

Seriously – is sex critical to a happy marriage?

Wife and I discussed this for a while yesterday – she hates this conversation!

But I asked her, could you live in a sex-less marriage?

Would not choose it – but I love you and committed to you

And that is how I feel

Intimacy, touch – really important

Image of Christ and His Church – He gives Himself to us, the Church, entirely – body and blood

Analogy for intimacy between a man and a wife – gives selves over to each other completely – more than a partnership – deeper than that

To remove sex is to weaken the relationship

Obviously there are times when it happens – illnesses, depression, testosterone issues, distance

And not the only building block of a healthy relationship

But it is not the ideal – part of our most basic need

Feelings of rejection can build up and do great damage to internal soul and to relationship

So Berkowitzes wrote a book “He's Just not Up for it anymore: Why Men Stop Having Sex and What you can do about it.” - gonna ask them just that

Could you live in a sex-less marriage?

Committed but without sexual intimacy

Are you living that right now? What is it like?



Questions:

Good sex life 20 years into it – how do you do that? Helps for others?

Men, how talk about it?



Misc:



Helps – Communication (MEN!)

Jump start – touching, kindnesses

Just do it -

Anger and conflict

Priorities

Natural life cycle of a relationship

Feelings of rejection

Counseling or therapy

End porn life



Myths

Gay, outside partners, asexual, no time, not interested, divorce must follow



Top 10 reasons men gave

She is not sexually adventurous

does not enjoy sex

I am angry at her

I am interested in sex with others but not her

I am bored

She is depressed

She has gained a lot of weight

I am depressed

I no longer find her attractive

I suffer from ED



Top 10 reasons women think

Don't know

he is depressed

angry at me

too tired

no longer finds me attractive

suffers from ED

I am depressed

He is bored

I have gained a lot of weight

He prefers porn