Andy's Blog

Today started like any other day at Hilton Head. Woke up. Put swim suits on. Went to the beach. Had a baby...

What?

Had a baby?

Ok, that never happened before.

It was about 5pm and we were getting ready to go to a nice dinner for our last night of vacation and Andrea started to have some pain. So she called her doctor in Indiana. Well her doctor told her everything was probably fine, but to swing by the hospital to confirm.

Two hours in the hospital and it is confirmed: she's having the baby tonight. A whole two months early!!!

I take a screaming Jadyn (who wants her mommy) home and put her to bed, we read Little Mermaid. And now I am scrounging around, trying to get everything ready for the show tomorrow night, a show I probably won't be at.

But it's weird, ya know. I always thought the first person I would drive to the hospital to have a baby would be my wife, or at least my own child.

But in a unique way I feel like it is partly my child. Just four days earlier, while standing on the beach, CJ turned to me and said, "you want to be the first to know what the name of the child is? Asher James. Andrea doesn't even know that I have picked it yet." Who knew, four days later, and two months early, he would be here.

Andrea is most likely going to be moved to Charleston, SC tomorrow, and her and Asher are going to have to be there for three weeks. I am trying to convince them to move her to Savannah instead because the access is so much easier for everybody up north (and me in Atlanta). But we'll see.

That's about it from here. I have done a lot of stuff with my 20 years at Hilton Head. But having a baby is definitely a first.

UPDATE
Asher's First Video

Is it me or do I feel we are settling on the Presidential Candidates? I know I am not the only one:

I have said before, I am a Christ-centered Bible believer, usually Conservative, who believes big government is the worst thing that can happen to this country. With all that said, I consider Obama my current candidate. But then Stephen¹ got me thinking about write-ins and 1996...

In 1996 there was some serious rumblings about Colin Powell running against Bill Clinton. Man that would have been nice. But alas, Powell did not want to run, so we were stuck with Clinton, Lewinsky, and Bin Laden² oh my!

My 2008 conclusion: I have decided to write-in Colin Powell as my vote for President and I think he just might actually win!³

Why do I think he could win? Because he doesn't want the job...

The way I see it, to win the Presidential Election with three candidates you need 218 electoral votes. According to my math, that is 48,427,488 popular votes.⁴

I sincerely believe that to get 48 million people to do something, it would only take the right 7 or 8 people. In this case I think those 7 are Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, and James Dobson.⁵

I created an Excel spreadsheet (which can be downloaded here for your own use) and here are the results: write-in Powell beats Obama 255 to 236.

So why would Powell make a better President than Obama and McCain?

He has a stellar international reputation. We are in a desperate need to fix our international image. It effects our economy, our safety, and the well-being of all human life. Our international image is a pro-life issue.

He argued against the Iraq War. Before it was cool to be against the Iraq War, Powell was against it. He argued against it with Rumsfeld and Bush in the room. And this isn't because he is a pussy like Sheehan and the Democrats. It's because he knew it wasn't the right thing to do, and it wouldn't make us any safer.

He argued for the Iraq War. Powell realizes it isn't about him. He was loyal to his "boss" - even when they disagreed. Since we are all the boss of the President, I appreciate someone who is loyal to his constituents and his country.

His nickname is the Reluctant Warrior. This is what I want in my President in this day and age. I don't want a Bush or McCain who is looking for a fight. But I also don't want a pussy like Obama or Clinton who won't stand up when we need it. Powell was a General in the US Army. He knows when he needs to fight. And he knows when he doesn't.

Bi-Partisian Reputation. We need it. Americans care less and less about political parties. We need candidates who agree.

Conservative Spending. I don't know why I think this, but Powell strikes me as a guy who can control spending. He might not back the FairTax, but he seems like he wouldn't spend like Bush and Clinton.

He's one of the smartest men in politics. Usually intelligence and politics is an oxymoron. Not with Powell.

He's relatable. If intelligence and politics are oxymorons; relatability and intelligence are definitely an oxymoron. Powell's got both. He is Kerry and Bush mixed in one.

So how do we do this?

Simple. The 7 people above put their full support behind him. They encourage the people they influence (which has got to be above 48 million) to write him in as President and that doing so isn't throwing away their vote.

We then setup a website (say Powell08.com) and ask people to register their commitment to vote for Powell. By November, there will be enough commitments that people will realize they aren't throwing away their vote by writing-in Powell and we will have the first unofficial, three candidate race.

So what if he doesn't take the job?

Fine. It is his choice. But at least we will send a message to all politicians that we are not happy (which we aren't). I am not sure constitutionally speaking how it would be settled, but I'll let the courts figure that one out.

But think what happens if he does take it. He will have no special interests because nobody donated to his campaign. He won't worry about reelection because he didn't want it in the first place. He will be free to do what he does best: get things done in a fair and intelligent manner.

So the balls in your court 7. Are you going to be like Colbert above and throw in the towel and just reluctantly vote for McCain? Or are you going man up and do something revolutionary. They say talk radio has no influence anymore, prove them wrong in a way they can't dispute.

I drove 434.4 miles in the month of February. If I were to round, my car costs me $630.74 per month in fixed cost. If you add the $48.02 in fuel I used for the month, that brings my total operating expense to $678.76.

So, in the month of February, my car had what the airline industry calls a CASM - Cost Available Seat / Mile - of $1.45. In 2007, United Airlines had a CASM of $.11 on all it's flights. Flying a plane is approximately 13 times cheaper than my car last month.

Most of you are probably bored right now and are pulling up feelings you haven't had since 7th grade Algebra. For that I apologize.

But here is my question. Is Al Gore the only reason I am keeping my car?

The beauty of my location is that I do not live more than 1.4 miles from anything I need - except Jamba Juice which is 374 miles away. In the first map below, I have within the gray shaded box the following:

• My Office
• Super Target
• Kroger
• Chick-Fil-A
• McDonalds
• Pizza Hut
• Starbucks
• Blockbuster
• 22.3 Restaurants (I refuse to count Di Paolo as a full restaurant)

In case Miss South Carolina is having this blog read to her by Mario Lopez and is confused at this point, I have provided three map comparisons with the three most important places in the US (places I have lived) to illustrate my point:

Alpharetta Stomping Grounds


Azusa Stomping Grounds


Fort Wayne Stomping Grounds

The furthest thing from my home is my office @ 1.4 miles.

In comparison for my Fort Wayne readers out there: that is the distance from Homestead High School to the corner of West Hamilton Rd and Aboite Center Rd - I used to run that for Cross Country practice.

For my Azusa readers out there, that is the distance from West Campus to Alosta Place Apartments.

For Miss South Carolina, that is the distance from The Iraq to South Africa and such as.

For everybody else, well, come up with your own 1.4 mile comparison.

I guess my question is why am I so attached to a $7600.00 expense per year (not including fuel) when I clearly don't need one? People in New York don't seem to mind? Al Gore would be proud, wouldn't he?

But that is the problem. Al Gore has made it cool not to have a car. Like the White People of 1997 who made it cool not to have a TV, we have secretly grown to resent Al Gore and his kind because they have made the right thing to do the cool thing to do and as Americans we hate doing that which is cool. As soon as you do that which is cool, you are cliché and "that guy" - and nobody likes that guy.

I am 61% certain that fuel use increased 312% since the release of an Inconvenient Truth. It isn't that Americans have more places to go. It is that Americans don't like to be told what to do. I think it has something to do with Hitler telling the French what to do, and the American despisition of baguettes.

So it looks like I am hanging on to my car, unless God save the planet, Sean Hannity does a report on why owning a car keeps Osama from recovering from kidney stones. Only then will I be free from this bondage.

I would like to thank the American Family Association for reminding me why, as a Bible-believing, Evangelical Christian, I hate Christian political organizations. Why? It only took one look at their 2008 Official Voter Guide. I seriously laughed when I saw it.

First off. It should be stated a 501(c)3 organization is not allowed to endorse a political candidate. The way around it is to release a voter guide about the "issues" and assume that those who align with your organization will align with the person with the most yes-es. You know the people at AFA wish Huckabee's name started with an "F" just so they could have put him in front of Guiliani (although then they probably wouldn't support him because his name would be a swear word and we all know the Bible talks A LOT about swearing {sarcasm} ).

So what did I do? The only responsible Christian thing to do: I created my own version of an official AFA (only this time AFA = "Andy's Faith Awareness") 2008 Voter Guide to make fun of them. I included a Jesus column (as well as a column for me and the AFA as well). I added eight "faith based" issues the AFA should have mentioned. And I also assigned a numerical value to the AFA, Jesus, and Andy column on a scale of 1 to 10 on how important that would be to each "candidate". Take a look.

Click for a larger version (Or Download the PDF to print out and give to friends ;) )

Now admittedly, I do not get to speak for Jesus. I will acknowledge this. I wish the AFA would. But given my extensive reading of scripture, the above 1-10 scale resembles how I interpret a modern-day Jesus would rank the political issues. Please also note, that I do not always "agree" with Jesus. Why? It isn't because I am right and Jesus is wrong; but because I at least have the integrity to recognize that what I think about our current American socio/political culture is potentially wrong.

What I would rather point out is the difference between AFA and Jesus. I hate to break it to you, but Jesus could careless about gun laws and taxes. Remember his answer about paying taxes to Caesar? The ambivalence was astonishing. Don't get me wrong, I want small government. I want low taxes. But to say that low taxes is a "faith" issue is irresponsible at best.

But now lets look at what Jesus did talk about more than just about any other topic: taking care of the poor? Ohh but wait, it isn't on the list. Ohh so gun laws and taxes make the list, but taking care of the poor somehow is not a family value?

Let's talk about pro-life. Sure we all know Jesus is against abortions, but what about the death penalty? What about health care? I hate to break it to you, but being pro-life is more than being anti-abortion.

But then I get the predictable response from my friend when I object and she states:

Are you going to mention in your blog that it is the church’s responsibility to take care of the poor (not the government)?

Now I don't blame her for this comment. Why? Because it is quite the popular assumption within the faith community. But I have to call BS. That mindset is fine, but you don't get your cake and eat it too. If you are going to scream at the top of your lungs for traditional marriage and abortion, then you have stated that your intentions are to yield the "churches" role, at least in part, to the government. If you want to lobby the government for pro-life laws, then you better be willing to lobby the government for poverty laws as well.

So why does this matter? Well you will notice that I put "?" marks under the candidates column for the issues I created. When I originally went to do this I was going to include where I thought the candidates stood on these issue. But then I realized that was the wrong approach. The AFA (and other's like it) have a lot of authority in a very powerful constituency. Millions of people look to them for political guidance. But if they turn non-faith issues into faith issues (i.e. gun laws), and forget to mention issues that are faith issues (i.e. poverty laws), then they are doing a huge disservice to the American political arena, and more importantly the body of Christ.

As a Christian political group, we must recognize that we are following Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh and Karl Rove and Fox News closer than we are following Jesus - and that is a horrendous offense. As Barack Obama said at a recent Sojourners event in Atlanta, GA, "before we get carried away, let's read our Bibles now. Folks haven't been reading their Bibles."

I will close with this. Before I get labeled a helpless liberal, I want to state sincerely I have not decided who I am voting for. The way I look at it, I am either voting for Huckabee or Obama. The point is, I would vote for each of them because of what my faith tells me is important. Neither Huckabee or Obama or Guiliani or Edwards are Jesus Christ. Neither one of them is right on every issue. The AFA can continue to follow Coulter and Hannity and Limbaugh and Rove, but for me, I will follow Christ.

On Friday night we had a "Tiffany turns 27" / "Andy bought a house in November" party. At one point there were about 35 people there. This surprised me because a.) I didn't think 35 people could fit it my tiny townhome, and b.) it took until 10:30 before somebody showed up that I didn't know.

It got me thinking though. It got me thinking about the movie trailer I saw in 2004 for Crash. I loved that movie. It was a movie about LA and racism. It was unique and brilliant. But it is a line from the trailer, which had relatively little to do with race, that had me hooked. The line was, "In LA, nobody touches you...I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just that we can feel something." I lived in LA. I know this to be true. But it isn't just LA - it's everywhere.

In September I downloaded a song called Car Crash by Matt Nathanson out of the iTunes free single of the week section. I don't normally do this because the music usually sucks, but this one sparked my interest for some reason. It's lyrics are thoughtful. The chorus in particular:

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
'Til I'm satisfied
I wanna feel the car crash
'Cause I'm dyin' on the inside
I wanna let go and know
That I'll be alright, alright

I think it is fitting given the recent Duke University study that says we have fewer friends and confidants than Americans did 20-30 years ago. We are wealthier than we have ever been. We are more in control of our lives than we have ever been. We know more than we have ever known. We are more connected then we have ever been. Yet we are lonely. We miss that touch. Why? Why are we lonely?

I am a huge Scrubs fan. I have 134 of the 145 episodes on my DVR. I am not going to go into why I love the show so much. I am just going to show you one scene (it's worth the 2 minutes):

When I first saw this in January, I sent the link to my friend CJ and told him:

I wish you watched Scrubs so you would get this and not think it is weird/gay/ridiculous, but since [my girlfriend at the time] calls you my gay lover and [your wife] calls our friendship "special," I dedicate this video to you

Let's be honest. I would be JD because I am nerdy, quirky, and can't seem to stabilize a relationship. And CJ would be Turk because he's as cool and smooth as a black guy, and married with a kid.

My & CJ's friendship reminds me of David and Jonathan's in the Bible. I would probably be David because I am the one most likely to do something immoral sexually and then murder someone to cover it up. But the Bible says that at the news of Jonathan's death David said, "Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

Jonathan died before David had an affair with Bathsheba and then murdered Uriah to cover it up, only to be outed by Nathan. But I have a feeling that if Jonathan was alive, it wouldn't have changed anything. CJ knows I am not perfect. And not just in a generic, "we all sinners" kind of way. He knows I am not perfect. And inversely, I know he isn't perfect. But it doesn't change anything. If anything, it is why I love him more.

David and Jonathan weren't living in a "Crash" world. And as wealthy, and knowledgeable, and connected, and in-control my life gets, it is the guy love and connectedness I find with CJ (and others) that makes this life satisfying and full.

Today was AWESOME!!! I can't state that any better. Today was probably one of the top 5 experiences I have had in my life. Why? Because I think I killed a bunch of Navy Sailors!

Allen and I left the office this morning at 7:30 am and headed to Dobbins Air Force Base in Marietta, GA. We met up with a friend of the show (callsign Toolrod), and he took us onto the base. It reminded me of driving around Kadena Air Force Base in Okinawa, Japan. But this had a twist Kadena did not have: today I was going to the Navy's F-18 flight simulator!

Most of you know my love of aviation. Some of you know that for a six month period of my life I aspired to be a professional pilot until (and I don't claim this very often) God spoke to me (not audibly) and told me that wasn't the plan He had for me. Very few of you know that during that six month time period I actually visited the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO as I was very seriously considering entering it, as I aspired to pilot the F-16.

I knew today was going to be amazing. I found the F-18 astonishingly easy to fly. It accelerated like a fighter jet should. Rolls and climbs were remarkably smooth and quick. At one point I was climbing at a rate of 24,000 feet/min (your average airline flight shouldn't usually exceed 3,000 feet/min). The only real problem I had for the day was I couldn't figure out how to trim the aircraft very well, which meant I had a hard time keeping the aircraft at a constant altitude with no change. This surprised me because when I flew a Cessna I remember being surprised how easy it was to control the trim.

I had two highlights of the day:

1.) I pulled a 4G Inside Loop that started at 5000 ft, climbed to (if I were to guess) 12,000 ft, and then (and I kid you not) returned to exactly 5000 ft. I can't explain the rush when doing that and then looking at the altimeter and see it read exactly where I started (all while flying 600-700 MPH).

2.) I almost landed on an aircraft carrier. I had a little bit of a hard time figuring out the Instrument Landing System (I am used to the way it looks on commercial aircraft), but I got lined up perfectly with the carrier on the first try. The only problem was, I was a little low and didn't realize it until too late and crashed right at the back of the carrier. I certainly would have killed myself and a whole bunch of Navy Soldiers on the boat. But I was freaking close I tell you!

Now if someone out there from Delta can get me a couple hours in the Boeing 777-200 simulator at Hartsfield, I think I could die a happy man.

But what is the point of all this? Well lets be honest, I mainly just wanted to report on the cool thing I got to do. But it also got me thinking about interests and hobbies in our lives. I can't explain why I like aviation the way I do. I spend way too many hours a airliners.net and flying my computer game simulator at home. But this I do know. When I was in high school, I used to question why I spent so much time dinking around on the computer and with technology. I had no idea how God was going to use that. God creates passions in our lives for a purpose. So with aviation, I have stopped questioning why I spend so much time learning about it, and I just hope and trust that I will get as much out of it as I have with technology.

I am in Fort Wayne right now. One of my favorite things about going home is to catch up with friends I talk with occasionally on the phone, but see rarely. Lissa, myself, and another friend named Laura were set to meet at Buffalo Wild Wings. It turned out about half my graduating high school class showed up. But when Lissa walked in, all other conversation in my book ceased and the fun was about to start.

So you might be asking yourself, why is this girl so important? Do you have like a major thing for her? Not exactly. On paper, Lissa and I should be enemies. In our "Fox News" world, we should not be friends. We should have a TV show where we fight to the bitter death over just about any topic, accusing the other person of being anti-American and a horrible person¹. But there are few people I look forward to hanging out with more than Lissa. The night always seems to end too early.

Lissa is agnostic, liberal², cute, and smart. I am a Christian, conservative², ugly, and not-too-bright. But what I love about our relationship is that we have always had great respect for each other, and we have, with out actively trying, always abided by the rules of an article I came across on Cracked last week titled 10 Things Christians and Atheists Can (And Must) Agree On. The basic gist of the article are these 10 points:

1. You Can Do Terrible Things in the Name of Either One
2. Both Sides Really Do Believe What They're Saying
3. In Everyday Life, You're Not That Different
4. There Are Good People on Both Sides
5. Your Point of View is Legitimately Offensive to Them
6. We Tend to Exaggerate About the Other Guy
7. We Tend to Exaggerate About Ourselves, Too
8. Focusing on Negative Examples Makes You Stupid
9. Both Sides Have Brought Good to the Table
10. You'll Never Harass the Other Side Out of Existence

I think all of these points are right on. The only exception being #3, and while I think it is true in reality, it is a sad thing about modern Christianity. I mean, take a couple of different social choices away, the fact I abandoned any desire to go to Law School, and our Sunday morning activities, and Lissa and I live pretty much the same life.

But think about how great this world would be if we approached all people we disagreed with using the above guidelines. Think how politics would look. Think how families would look. Think how relationships would be different. Think how more civilized this world would be. Think how much fun life would be. And both sides are just as guilty of continuing the hatred of the other.

This Christmas I received a present³ from Erik (creator of allenhuntshowsucks.com). I even opened it with my family around the tree with all my other presents (we joked about the fact it might have anthrax). But I sincerely enjoy Erik as a person. We don't agree on religion. But we have respect for one another, and our e-mails back and forth are a lot of fun.

My hope (which they know) is for Lissa and Erik to one day realize the fullness (I didn't say easy) of life found in a relationship with Jesus. But until then, I am thoroughly enjoying the fun times and journey together.

I recently added the song I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) by Meatloaf to my iPod. I know it is a bit of a classic, and it takes me back to Middle School, but in a more recent context it got me thinking about sex. Welcome to part two of my blog's discussion on Good Sex

"Will you engage in oral sex once you are married?" This is a question I have posed to countless single, 20-something, Christians and Non-Christians that I have a trusted relationship with from Indiana to Los Angeles to Jerusalem to Atlanta. The responses have been quite surprising. Heard everything from "absolutely not," to "yeah, who wouldn't," and everything in between. But I think it gets to the heart of the real question, which is: what is sexually appropriate within a marriage?

Now for this discussion I am not talking about pre-marital activity (we can debate that some other time) nor am I talking about homosexual behavior. This is about what is appropriate within a heterosexual marriage.

For example, I had a professor in college that said his fiancée came to him before they were getting married and wanted him to list all of his sexual fantasies. After getting married, she did all these fantasies, because she wanted him to think of her when he thought of these fantasies and nobody else. I had another couple I know well that is dating come to an agreement that when they get married, one of the first things they will do is go to the local sex store and each pick "something" out. I know another married couple who isn't using birth control, and on days of the month where she is most likely ovulating, they do, as he put it, "other stuff."

On the other hand, I know of marriages that have fallen apart because one partner was uncomfortable with what was asked sexually (which for privacy I won't get into those details).

The church does an awful job of talking about this topic. It makes comments like "sex is good," but the term is so ambiguous that it still leaves so much confusion for the married and single alike. Even on our show, we have had people call in with questions about oral sex and anal sex during open mic, and even though we don't mind talking about swinging or pornography, etc...we don't ever seem to take those calls.

Well that all ends here. We are going to do something interesting on the blog that I have never done before. I am not going to give you what I think until I hear from everyone else out there. I usually get about 200-300 visitors, yet never get that many responses. So I know you are out there. I want to hear from everybody. Feel free to lie about your name and e-mail address. "Who" you are is not important. But what you have to say about this topic is. And be honest! Married, single, engaged. Christian, Non-Christian, Atheist. It doesn't matter. Pass this along to your friends. I want to hear from anybody and everybody. What is your perception of a healthy sexual relationship and how do you draw the line on what you feel comfortable with and what you don't?

To get you thinking, consider the following items (but I want you to be more philosophical in response then just responding to a laundry list)

• Oral sex
• Anal sex
• Sexual fantasy or role playing
• Using pornography
• Swinging or "Threesomes"
• Using sex toys
• Adventurous and/or Sex in Public Settings

Seriously. How do you establish what is and is not ok within the boundaries of a healthy sexual marriage? I will explain what I think in a comment later on this week but for those of you who want a really boring, long read, you are welcome to check out my senior thesis on the topic.

I am an avid Bones fan. If you are unfamiliar with Bones you are missing out. But a quick summary so you can understand this blog. Dr. Temperance Brennan (Bones - or "the girl") is a brilliant, but lonely, anthropologist. Her partner is FBI agent Seely Booth ("Booth" or "the guy"). They solve murders. Before you read further, watch this clip.

This 2:30 does a better job talking about sexuality than any sermon/lesson/book I have ever experienced. Who knew the Fox cooperation could do more on the topic of sex than find news anchorwoman with really big boobs? But seriously, I love this clip. And if sermons approached sexuality from Booth's angle, I think we would be more effective at teaching a healthy, God-oriented view of sexuality.

While I will take issue with Booth's comments about fetishes (which I am actually planning on discussing in my next blog post), I think he is spot on. Sex is a miracle. What I love about the TV show Bones is that the continual dilemma of the show is basically summarized in the rational (Bones) vs. the irrational (Booth).

I typically find myself to be a insanely rational person, which can make me a "cold" individual at times. But I have a faith that essentially asks me to be irrational, because faith by definition is trusting in what we cannot see. Now in our hyper-educated society, irrationalization is usually seen as a point of weakness. Reason is the god of the 21st century. And part of me identifies with this. But it is that same reason that eventually leads me back to faith, thus it is reason that brings me back to irrationalization. And sex is at the heart of it.

Creation I believe is the best evidence for God, and I think He wanted it that way. The complexities of our universe, and even our own bodies just could not have happened completely random. That is all fine and good, but that doesn't mean God is personal or loving or even good. But I think love and sex are the evidence of that. And I think subconsciously we know this to be true. It is why it is the one thing we all seem to long for and desire, but don't really know why (seriously, why do you desire to be loved?). And subconsciously, I think it is also why the church tries to defend it so vehemently (although usually it fails in its methods).

For example, did you know that the clitoris (as Family Guy puts it: "Nature's Rubik's Cube") has no other function whatsoever that to provide women with sexual pleasure? It is the only organ in either male or female that's sole purpose is sexual pleasure. What does that say about our Creator (other than that he is nicer to women than men)? Have you ever stopped and thought about why sex is pleasurable? Seriously. What evolutionary purpose is served by sex being pleasurable; by it being bonding; by it being, dare I say irrational.

I once read an author that said the sexual orgasm is the closest thing we come to experiencing the euphoria of God's entire goodness; or maybe better put it is the closest thing to heaven. In addition to that, the phrase, "with our bodies we worship Thee" used to be included in wedding vows. Why? Because sexuality, good sexuality, is designed to be such a transcendent experience that it can no better be described as worship. The miracle of two, trying to become one, even though physically and scientifically impossible, becomes possible through the act of sexuality. And that my friends is a God I can worship. That is a God I can trust to be irrational.

With that said, I look forward to a very interesting discussion in my next post about what good sex in marriage is like.

On the show we have about 7 or 8 people I call "regulars." These are people who listen to just about every show and e-mail us all the time. Most are non-Christians and think our presence on the radio is pretty ridiculous (although a couple are ultra-conservatives and think our show is too liberal). Usually I love these people. Honestly, it is what makes my job so much fun. Their e-mails are usually very creative, hilarious, crude, and thought provoking. I love it. However, a couple of weeks ago, I got an e-mail from one of the regulars who took a fairly cheap shot at Allen after he shared something very personal over the air. I don't care what gets sent to me - it can be vulgar, crude, inappropriate, heretical - anything, but I don't respond to cheap shots.

But the cheap shot got me thinking. I think one of the most frustrating things about faith is what I am labeling its catch-22 syndrome. No matter what happens, faith can't win, and there is always an excuse not to have any.

Lets say I come to you and say, "Jesus is the most important thing in my life." And you say back, "well yeah, but what happened in life." And I say, "well my parents got divorced when I was 12." And then you say, "well there ya go. You need faith because of what happened to you in life." Fair assessment huh? I use faith as a crutch. I get it.

But then you go over to a friend of mine, and they say, "Jesus is the most important thing in their life." And you say, "well tell me about your life." And she says, "well I have had a pretty good life. My parents love each other. My parents love me. We haven't had a whole lot of adversity." And then you say, "well there you go, you have had an easy life. No wonder you believe in God, you have such a naive perspective of life."

Lets say your parents were Christian. Well then it's obvious why you are a Christian - you were raised to be. Lets say your parents weren't Christian. Well then that is obvious too - you are just rebelling against them but instead of smoking some pot and sleeping around, you found this imaginary being called "God."

This conversation could be repeated about a hundred different times with a hundred different circumstance and the conclusion is all the same: "you have faith because of something in your life, but frankly, I don't need faith because I haven't experienced what you have experienced."

But really that is just a scapegoat isn't it? The reason we don't have faith is because we don't want it. We don't want to be told we are not in control because we think we are. We don't want to be told that we are loved unconditionally because it seems illogical. We don't want to believe that God exists - so we come up with any and every reason He can't.

I never finished the book Catch-22 when it was assigned to me (actually I never started it), and I probably should. But I found this excerpt from Catch-22's wikipedia page ironic:

Within the book, "Catch-22" is a military rule, the self-contradictory circular logic of which, for example, prevents anyone from avoiding combat missions.

So whether we are using circular logic to avoid combat missions or accept faith at face value, it still doesn't change reality. And from my observation, it is a reality where faith makes all the difference.

I was at Hand in Hand the other night (a bar in the Highlands) and amidst the conversation, Oasis's Wonderwall began to play and it took me back. Wonderwall always reminds me of one thing: doing pot.

See that's what songs do to me, they make me remember stuff.

Confessions of a Broken Heart will always remind me of driving on the Great Ocean Road from Melbourne, Australia. Runaway Train will always remind me of my paper route in 4th grade. The Difference will always remind me of traveling by bus through the French countryside with 40 8th graders. Comfortable will always remind me of Laura. I Believe by Blessed Union of Souls will always remind of of riding the bus through Inverness Lakes in middle school. Clumsy by Chris Rice will always remind me of Nate and I walking into Bob's apartment in the Willows. American Dream will always remind me of Jerusalem, Israel. Strawberry Wine will always remind me of sitting on the bus on the way to Mexico thinking of Emily. Gold Digger will always remind me of baby Jadyn. Jesus Take the Wheel will always remind me of Rachel and her hate for Carrie Underwood. Hanging by the Moment will always remind me of driving down I-75 with CJ on the way to Hilton Head. Come What May will always remind me of driving up to Big Bear with Cheria in Daren's suburban. Freshman will always remind me of driving down Aboite Rd. Emotionless will always remind me of my roommate Taylor and I talking about my relationship with my father. And that my friends, is just a quick cursory look at my Top Rated Songs in random order in iTunes.

Weirdly enough, Wonderwall was the "song of the Borgmann/Borne/Hoffman ski trip" in 8th grade where I first encountered pot, and to my credit I turned it down on my first offer. It wasn't until spring break later on that year that I did pot (which reminds me of You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette). But You Oughta Know didn't come on this night at Hand in Hand. Wonderwall did. But thinking of my stint with pot at 14 years old got me to think about life change - as 8th grade was also the year I encountered God.

I think one of the most frustrating things about being a minister is that you are making your entire life about "life change" but you rarely get to see life change. I used to want to be a doctor, and I think to myself, that would have been easier to some degree. I would make my life about saving people's physical life, sometimes I would fail, but when I would succeed, I would know it. But in being a minister I rarely get to see what I succeed or fail with, and that is really discouraging - no matter how "successful" & "talented" people tell me I am.

So what do I do? I think about what I am grateful for. I am grateful for people like Nate Hasty, Bob Caley, and Pat Rowland. I want them to know that because of them, my life was changed. Because of them, I didn't follow the drug path in high school. Because of them, I turned from my selfish ways (well, I am trying to). Because of them, I made a purpose out of my life to follow God and hopefully instill life change in others. I just hope my life will be an oasis of life change like these great men and not a mirage.

Today was an exciting day. It was a day I have been waiting for at least the last five years. I took my first flight as a pilot. For those of you who think I am a nerd, you're right, but I am going to give you the details anyways.

I flew a Cessna Skyhawk 172S, with a Garmin 1000 Full Glass Cockpit. I spent three hours at the Cobb County Airport - McCollum Field (RYY). I am doing my flight instruction with Premier Flight School and it is located just outside of Kennesaw, GA.

I was amazed how much my flight instructor (Chris) let me do on the very first flight. I had a minor problem while taxing (which you do with your feet) keeping the plane on the center line. Then we were cleared for takoff, and he turned to me and said, "alright, line her up on the runway and apply full throttle." I never thought I would get to do that on the first flight. He told me Vr was 65 knots (speed you initially pull up) and V2 was 80 knots (speed you are cleared to leave the ground). I taxied onto the runway 9, applied full throttle and we were off.

I climbed to 3500 feet and then trimmed off and kept an approximate heading of 90°. We headed straight for my church: Mount Pisgah. Once leveled, speed topped off at 105 kts (which had a ground speed of 120 kts, which translated to MPH is about 130). Once to Mount Pisgah, I immediately banked to the right to a heading of about 210° to fly over my apartment. Once there, we maintained a gradual turn to Altoona Lake.

Once to Altoona Lake, it was time to prepare for landing. I headed for the airport at with a heading of 135°. Once within about 5 miles from the airport, I banked right to a heading of 180°. It was at this point that I figured he would take controls, but he didn't. As I approached the flight line of runway 9 at RYY, I banked to left for a heading of 90°, lined up with the runway, extended flaps first to 10° and then once below 85 kts extended them completely. I slowed to about 70 kts and began descent. He let me fly to about 300 feet above the ground (which is approximately 1 mile from touchdown and approximatively 1300' feet above sea level) and then he took controls. He landed the plane and I taxied back to the hanger.

Some of my initial thoughts. Taxing is harder then you would think, but I sort of expected that. Flying was easier than I thought. It felt so natural. My flight instructor said I did a great job maintaining altitude (which is usually a steep learning curve for most) and it was apparent I had a great start.

It was weird being "in control" for the first time on a flight. When I first flew on a private plane for work, I remember thinking how the "turbulence" felt different than on a big plane. The plane I flew today felt like the other private aircraft I flew in before, but being the pilot made it feel strikingly more in control.

Well I have written enough I guess. It was fun. I am excited. And I am hoping to have my license completed by August. So everybody look to the skies, it might be me ;-)

"What are you going to talk about, 'umm...what's your favorite position?'" That was the question posed by my associate Mickey when I told him I was going to have lunch on Thursday with a porn producer here in Atlanta.

Needless to say it was quite an interesting lunch, and it is one of the things I love most about my job: I can actually find people outside of the church. Now Matt (not the name of the guy, but if you listen to the show often you should know who I am talking about) is a good guy, despite his obvious - in my opinion - immoral job choice. And before you wonder, yes, he knows that I think his job choice is immoral.

But I have long abandoned the days where one's life choice makes you any worse of a person than anybody else. Now, one could say that, "Andy, so are you saying that we all are 'good' people and therefore in God's good favor regardless of our life decisions." Not at all. Ultimately, in the end, I still have to believe that the only saving grace for any of us is a relationship with Jesus Christ - and therefore the lack of relationship with Jesus Christ is ultimately humanity's downfall.

BUT, with all that said, that doesn't mean we can't get along, it doesn't mean we can't learn from each other, and it certainly doesn't mean that as Christians, we shouldn't engage in thorough, purpose-filled conversation with people we don't necessarily see things eye to eye.

In a short, hour conversation at an Applebee's in Tucker, GA, I learned a lot, and I enjoyed a new friendship. I don't think this is where Matt and I's relationship will end, and I am pretty sure we both can learn a lot from each other.

This I feel is one of the hardest things to convince both Christians and non-Christians alike. Get out of your comfort zone. If you are a conservative individual, how often do you converse with someone who is liberal - and vice versa. If you are a "traditionally moral individual," how often do you talk with someone in the sex industry, or a homosexual. If you are a Christian, how often do you converse with a Muslim, or an atheist.

The shocking point about Jesus is that he spent more time with prostitutes, than religious folks. We forget that a lot in the church. It all becomes about our click, our group, our fellowship. So to answer the question, my favorite position is one where I am always learning from others - especially those who don't think like me - that is a great position to be in (although I don't know for sure, but I think the butterfly position looks pretty fun as well ;-) ).

P.S. I promise I won't do anything on porn for a while given the past week of porn entries.

Drum roll please...duh duh duh...we have finally come to the end of the series on pornography. But I have forgotten two very important elements: what does God have to say about all this and what can I do to help myself with this struggle.

I feel like I have tried to answer the question, why is pornography wrong, from a secular perspective up until this point. But ultimately, I have to get to the reason why it is wrong: because I believe using pornography involves lust and I think God has made it clear even lustful thoughts are wrong.

Now, here's the difficulty, how do you define lust? Either the people listening to Jesus thought it was so obvious what lust was, or they were too afraid to ask, because in the Bible it appears that they bought what he had to say about it. But most of us, in the 21st century, start wondering how do you really define lust. So I am going to try.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-29

You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

The key here in my mind is that lust is defined as thinking or acting sexually with another woman that is not your wife (and inverse for all the ladies). Now what Jesus did not say was that sexual thoughts were wrong - and that's important. But it my mind it is the act of taking those sexual thoughts and applying them to a person that is not a spouse.

It might seem subtle, but I think the distinction is important. After reading Steve Gerali's The Struggle I have really struggled (ha!) with his basic premise that masturbation might not be wrong. Now I am good friends with Steve and we have had many conversations about this together. He supports himself in saying that masturbation does not have to include lust, because it does not have to include lustful thoughts about someone.

Now I don't have time to blog about masturbation (maybe for another day), but I think the thought is an interesting one. If I can think about sex, but not about anyone in particular, is it still lust. I have to say, after years of thought: no.

Now back to porn. Porn always involves someone. Now, you might say, yeah but they are just random people on the internet. Here's the point: they still are people. They are still someone's sister, or daughter, or friend. They still have a soul, a life, a destiny. And for whatever reason the model has decided to pose (or act), there is a spiritual connection between the person in pornography and the person using pornography.

One quick story that I think will help illustrate this point before I move on to my tips (and I am sorry if this is too graphic for you). When I was 13 or so and exploring my sexuality, I didn't have a lot of porn to use and one thing that I remember being very "attracted" to was Amanda Beard in the Summer Olympics - ahh those tight bathing suits. So needless to say, I explored my "sexuality" while fantasizing about her. Figuring, like most do with porn, that this person isn't a "real" person in my life and she's just on the tv. Now, fast forward about 8 years and sure enough, I am in a position to meet (and spend some short amount of time) with Amanda. Now, I of course did not divulge what I shared in this blog with her, we talked about her new Olympic victories in Sydney. But it did drive home the point that day, and I remember thinking this, that wow, Amanda is a real person. And so too are the porn models - and that is an important thing to remember.

Alright, now for the tips on how to deal with a porn struggle:

1. Be open and honest with people about this struggle. Sure you don't have to post it on your website ;-) - but don't let this struggle consume you in private. Find some friends to talk about it with. Trust me, there are a lot of us out there dealing with this, and if you run into someone who doesn't want to help, or "thinks its gross", etc...say that's cool and find someone else. I have had great, open, honest, and raw accountability in my life from the time I was 17 and let me tell you it is necessary.
2. As Jesus said, if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off, and if your eye causes you to sin gouge it out. Now I am not saying you should take this literally (or else a lot of us would be blind and with out hands). But what I do think is important is take any measure you need to, to help overcome this.
3. This brings me to my next point. Don't have internet at home. WHAT?!?! I know, this is coming from a guy who is a web programmer and makes a living off of what he does on the web. But I am telling you, if this is a problem (and especially if you are single) just don't have internet at home. I didn't have internet in my home here in GA for the first 12 months. It is doable
4. I have never used it, but many have told me how much a program like Covenant Eyes www.covenanteyes.com has helped. Now it kind of goes a lot with point number 1, because you have to be willing to be accountable, but if you are willing to be accountable, it might be of great help.
5. Check out other resources at http://www.xxxchurch.com

Well, the series is finally over. And as I type this, I am now late for lunch with a porn producer, Atlanta's largest - Mike South (how's that for a way to end the series). I'll blog about that experience sometime later. Sorry it took me so long, but hopefully you find it helpful.

WOW! I KNOW! It took me a long time to wrap this one up. And I stopped in a particularly awkward place for three months. But it is a good thing I stopped when I did, because I would have just wrapped this sucker up and moved on and it would have sucked.

I work crazy hours normally, and November & December are the worst. So right after our Christmas Eve service (we are talking 12:10 am on Christmas morning), I left for Indiana. For the next two weeks I did very little besides hang out with friends, play with Jadyn, and relax. It was great. I also picked up the new book of one of my favorite writers, Chuck Klosterman, entitled Chuck Klosterman IV. As always, it was incredibly insightful, particularly to the conversation we are having about pornography. I call this, this Steven Tyler’s Surrender:

In 2002, I interviewed Aerosmith's Steven Tyler about drugs and groupies, and he said something along the lines of, "Having sex with the same woman a thousand times is way more interesting than having a thousand one-night stands with a thousand different women, because those one-night stands are all the same."...Every aging rock god (except maybe Gene Simmons) eventually comes to this same conclusion; in fact, anyone (famous or not) who decides to get married is unknowingly agreeing with Steven Tyler. At some point, most people decide that sleeping with the same person improves the quality of their life, even though it eliminates romantic choice. We all unconsciously understand this. However, nobody consciously believes this is true until after the fact. If you ask any single man if he'd prefer to (a) have sex with a thousand different women or (b) have sex with one woman a thousand times, he will always stake option "a", even though he knows this decision is virtually guaranteed to make him feel awkward and alone.

Chuck Klosterman IV (page 210-211)

I could pretty much just let you read that, and it would say enough. But I am too stupid to stop there. This communicates what I was talking about in the previous post way better than what I said. And here's why: Steven Tyler's reputation. If anyone should know the "glory" of sleeping with thousands of different women, it would be Steven Tyler. But here, you have an aged rocker, admitting something so universally true, and so reputatiously alarming, that there is little you can say to disagree.

I think porn is like this. As I have admitted earlier in this post, I have seen thousands of images of porn. And I agree with Steven that, in the end, they are all the same. Really porn is just the allure of the interesting, but in actuality it is pretty dull and only alludes to the truly interesting, a healthy, fun, erotic, monogamous relationship with the same person for many, many years.

The question is going to be, am I going to be like Steven in continuing to feel akward and alone, or am I going to strive to live my life in full realization and trust that the God who created sex, knows how best to "do it" and surrender my life to Him.

Still to come:
Sat - What God has to say and steps to avoid using porn

P.S. I included the date of this post back in the August "week" so that when people read it in the archive, they won't notice there was 3-month gap between posts (until they read this of course).

P.P.S. For more incredible observations from Chuck Klosterman, and my theological insight related to it, click here