On Thursday, May 12, 2005 I started my first job out of college at Mount Pisgah United Methodist Church around 8:00 am. On Sunday, September 30, 2007 I left my first job out of college at the same job around 3:45 pm. I left with many lessons learned, many friends, many successes to be proud of, a few failures to be ashamed of, and a huge smile on my face.

When I first moved to Atlanta from Los Angeles, I found myself listening to a Dido CD my brother had left in my car that previous December. Dido will forever bring me back to May of 2005. This morning, as I drove to my last day of my first job, I shuffled the iPod over to Dido to take me back. I found myself listening to Life For Rent.

As I walked out of Mount Pisgah some 9 hours later and hopped in my car, I found myself smiling. But not smiling all real like we do in photos. It was that half smile. That smile you see at the end of movies where the main character is headed off for something fun, something great, something exhilarating, with a sunset, and music is playing in the background. I think if I were in a movie, the song playing in the background would be Life for Rent.

What I love about this song is that it tells of a story where one realizes their life doesn't belong to them. The songwriter realizes that since their life doesn't belong to them, this should have a profound impact on their decisions. And in classic Robert Frost style, realizing that my life is for rent has made all the difference.

My life doesn't belong to me, it belongs to God. Sounds cheesy enough, but it is true. This lifespan, while short, is only a glimpse of eternity. This is profound because it both speaks to the urgency of life and at the same time the meaninglessness of life. I think it is this realization that allows for Solomon to lament in Ecclesiastics about the meaningless of life but at the same time have him write in Song of Solomon about the fullness and passion found in life.

As I enter into a little of the unknown, I take solace in a God who has watched over me for years and has directed my paths better than I could have ever imagined. It is scary, exciting, overwhelming, fun, and most of all full. And that is what I have realized; first at APU, and now as I leave Mount Pisgah. I will take a full life that doesn't belong to me but belongs to my Creator any day over a life I own but comes up empty.

PS - Yes I know I look super cheesy in the photo. I took this photo of myself on my first day of work. I had no friends. I knew no one. I didn't even have a bed. I will always love this photo.

This past Thursday (September 27, 2007) was Molly's 22nd birthday. We went to The Melting Pot in Birmingham, Alabama. I have never paid so much money to cook my own food. But it was a really, really fun time and the company was breathtakingly beautiful - and you can't beat that combination.

Amidst the conversation, she mentioned to me that she had never had a boyfriend on her birthday before. This didn't really come as a shock given that while I had never thought about this fact, I knew it to be true. But then it got me thinking, out of the 9 previous relationships I have been in, I have never been in a relationship on my girlfriend's birthday. I got close once (even had the gift bought and everything), but we broke up a couple of weeks before (and yes I still gave her the gift). I verbalized this to Molly, expressed that it was actually kind of fun to have a girlfriend on her birthday (doing the whole planning thing, buying the present*, etc..etc...) and then we moved on to something else.

But it was driving home from Birmingham that got me thinking about firsts. This last month and upcoming week have been some huge firsts for me in my life. It was the first time I ever went out to eat with a girlfriend's family, without the girlfriend being with us. It was the first time I left a "real-world" job - one that I had since graduation (I'll blog about it later). It is probably going to the be first time I ever make an offer on a house (sidenote: everybody pray that goes well).

I think it is firsts in life that make life scary & fulfilling all at the same time. Many times I find myself faced with the temptation to avoid firsts. Some firsts are challenging and stressful (*cough* buying a first home). Others are exhilarating and fresh. But all force us to grow. All force us to wake up in the morning and realize that life will not stay the same - no matter how much we enjoy its security. We can either take these firsts head on and make them our own, or we can let these firsts happen to us out of fear and nervousness. Either way the firsts come, the question is what do we do with them?

*For those of you out there that stopped reading after my comment about the gift, here ya go. I got her this rug from Vera Bradley. Now, most people react (including some of her friends) with a look of disgust that I bought her a rug for her birthday. Now hold on. We were driving back from the lake in the middle of August and she was thumbing through an InStyle Magazine and she commented on how she liked the rug. Then, when I was in Fort Wayne (home of Vera Bradley), I swung by the Vera Bradley store and picked it out. Worried that I had the wrong one, I actually drove to Wal-Mart in Huntington to purchase the InStyle Magazine (yeah that didn't make me look gay or anything). Then, realizing I couldn't find the rug (I had the wrong issue), I made a second trip to the Vera Bradley store and went with something that I knew wasn't the one she pointed out, but that matched her room. Thus, the story of her present is complete.

Jadyn turns 2 on Monday. So after the Colts party Rachel threw at my apartment on Thursday, I packed up my bag and headed out to Indiana for my annual September trip. As I crossed over the Ohio River and into the great state that is Indiana, I noticed something different than when I lived here: Everybody is a Christian!

How did I know this? Simple. Because more people have these licenses plates that say "In God We Trust" than the "normal / plain / ugly" Indiana license plates, and I am pretty sure it says somewhere in the Bible that if you have an "In God We Trust" licenses plate than you are a Christian.

Now, it is good to know everyone in Indiana is a Christian and I think we learned an important lesson: when Andy leaves, everyone becomes a Christian. Therefore, I think the best ministry I can do for any area is to leave. Next step: move to Iran and then leave - it will solve all the world's problems.

But seriously, it got me thinking. First off, I know if I still lived in Indiana I would not get one of these plates. Why? Because, well, lets just say my driving style isn't exactly a good "witness for Christ." This isn't that I am dangerous (quite the opposite), I just like to move if you know what I mean! <sidenote>Why do we associate driving style with religious integrity when religious symbols are on cars? We never look at somebody who cut us off with an environmental plate and say, "all those environmentalists are such jerks, I would never be an environmentalist."</sidenote> But in addition to that, I am not real sure I agree with these plates in principle.

I still don't get stuff like this. We don't live in a Christian nation. We might have been at our foundation, but lets call a duck, a duck, and acknowledge that we do not currently live in a Christian nation. So why do we continue to identify ourselves as such from the governmental/national/state level? As Christians, don't we think this does more harm than good. How do you have a serious, religious/theological conversation with a society who thinks they are Christian because they are American?

I will say I am proud of Indiana though. Unlike Georgia and their pathetic environment plates, Indiana actually has plates that care about important things like child abuse, habitat for humanity, etc... UPDATE: It looks like Georgia has finally started to care about stuff that is actually important and the comment I just made was wrong. They have added, what appears to be 30 new plates that actually care about stuff that is important (like child abuse, cancer, and of course NASCAR, etc...). Alright, I guess I'll see all you Christians on the road ;) Please refrain from giving me the finger when I pass you going 90 ;)

Someone in my life came to me a couple of months ago and asked for advice on how to pay for his last semester of college. I began to lay out the options that he had; like I have done many times with other college-age individuals. We got to the point where we realized that he would have to take out a small loan. When I went through the different options with him on that, he elected to go with a higher interest rate option of a private lender than attempt to qualify for the federally subsidized Stafford loan because qualifying for the loan would require him to ask his parents for their income tax return. He didn't like this idea because he didn't think his parents would give him that information because they wouldn't want him to know how much they made.

Now I would like to think this is just a weird incident, but I have come to realize that people will talk about anything before they will talk about money. Seriously. Think about it. People will share intimate details of their sex life before talking about their money. People will talk about the medication they are on before they talk about money. Men will share their struggles with pornography, and woman their struggles with eating disorders; but if you bring up money…whoa that’s none of your business.

Maybe it is because I really don't look to anybody for a handout, especially those who have a lot of money. Maybe it is because I live my life pretty transparent in other areas, so I don't think money should be any different. But for whatever reason, I just don't get why money is such a big deal.

A few years ago, a mentor of mine in the ministry made a comment about the fact he makes his IRS income tax return available to anybody in his congregation who wanted to see it. He did this for accountability reasons so that people could see that he practiced what he preached when it came to giving 10% of your income. I often reflected on that conversation and I realized that while I think that is good, it is only half the story. Giving is only half the picture when it comes to money. Materialism and greed are the other half. So from that point on, I have always made my entire financial income / expense report available online for the past six years (when I started keeping track of every penny I made and spent, and yes, I know, I am anal retentive).

It has gotten me in a little trouble from time to time - usually from people who think I make too much. But yet there are people in the tech community that think I make way too little for the job and services I provide. And maybe that is why people are afraid to talk about money. Maybe we have wrapped so much of our identity and self-wroth in our income. To share about our money means to literally share our most intimate identification of our (or our families) self-worth. But I still have to ask the question, why? Why does money say anything about identity at all?

1Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

I think it is a pretty freeing thing to acknowledge the truth in this verse. When we are no longer a slave to our money, we are no longer a slave to the perceptions that come with it. We find our true self-worth in our relationship with God and each other and not how many zeros are on our income tax return.