Andy's Blog

I was at Hand in Hand the other night (a bar in the Highlands) and amidst the conversation, Oasis's Wonderwall began to play and it took me back. Wonderwall always reminds me of one thing: doing pot.

See that's what songs do to me, they make me remember stuff.

Confessions of a Broken Heart will always remind me of driving on the Great Ocean Road from Melbourne, Australia. Runaway Train will always remind me of my paper route in 4th grade. The Difference will always remind me of traveling by bus through the French countryside with 40 8th graders. Comfortable will always remind me of Laura. I Believe by Blessed Union of Souls will always remind of of riding the bus through Inverness Lakes in middle school. Clumsy by Chris Rice will always remind me of Nate and I walking into Bob's apartment in the Willows. American Dream will always remind me of Jerusalem, Israel. Strawberry Wine will always remind me of sitting on the bus on the way to Mexico thinking of Emily. Gold Digger will always remind me of baby Jadyn. Jesus Take the Wheel will always remind me of Rachel and her hate for Carrie Underwood. Hanging by the Moment will always remind me of driving down I-75 with CJ on the way to Hilton Head. Come What May will always remind me of driving up to Big Bear with Cheria in Daren's suburban. Freshman will always remind me of driving down Aboite Rd. Emotionless will always remind me of my roommate Taylor and I talking about my relationship with my father. And that my friends, is just a quick cursory look at my Top Rated Songs in random order in iTunes.

Weirdly enough, Wonderwall was the "song of the Borgmann/Borne/Hoffman ski trip" in 8th grade where I first encountered pot, and to my credit I turned it down on my first offer. It wasn't until spring break later on that year that I did pot (which reminds me of You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette). But You Oughta Know didn't come on this night at Hand in Hand. Wonderwall did. But thinking of my stint with pot at 14 years old got me to think about life change - as 8th grade was also the year I encountered God.

I think one of the most frustrating things about being a minister is that you are making your entire life about "life change" but you rarely get to see life change. I used to want to be a doctor, and I think to myself, that would have been easier to some degree. I would make my life about saving people's physical life, sometimes I would fail, but when I would succeed, I would know it. But in being a minister I rarely get to see what I succeed or fail with, and that is really discouraging - no matter how "successful" & "talented" people tell me I am.

So what do I do? I think about what I am grateful for. I am grateful for people like Nate Hasty, Bob Caley, and Pat Rowland. I want them to know that because of them, my life was changed. Because of them, I didn't follow the drug path in high school. Because of them, I turned from my selfish ways (well, I am trying to). Because of them, I made a purpose out of my life to follow God and hopefully instill life change in others. I just hope my life will be an oasis of life change like these great men and not a mirage.