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Pornography: The Ultimate Cheeseburger (Part 1)

08/22/06

Permalink 06:00:00 am, by andy Email , 683 words
Categories: 20s, Sex, Christianity, Andy's Favorites, Relationships, Pornography

Pornography: The Ultimate Cheeseburger (Part 1)

PornPorn is nothing new, but since the advent of the internet, it seems to have built huge momentum. For the rest of the week, we are going to look at pornography from all angles, including some many of you probably have never considered.

I should make a serious digression point here. I am stating for the record that I am a hypocrite when it comes to this issue. As you will see over the course of the week, I will take a very strong moral stance on pornography. However, I struggle very hard with this issue. In the past 15 months I have viewed pornography 7 times. Now some of you (probably women) think that is a disgusting amount. Others of you (probably men) think that I am bragging that I have only done it 7 times. The truth is probably somewhere in between. But all of what I am about to say should be with the understanding that I too struggle with this issue. I know I have done wrong, but that still doesn't change the absolute truth of this issue. C.S. Lewis says "you can't judge a coat by the person who wears it," and I am saying, "that you can't judge an issue by the person who practices it." But I digress.

I came across a study recently that says 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women use porn (that number is actually 34% according to another study). When all women are considered this number jumps to 53% (and believe it or not I could not find a statistic on the percentage of men viewing porn, probably because it is 99%). 25% of all internet searches are for porn. 77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married.

Now I am going to tell you something that I don't think anyone will ever say. It may mean I am wrong - however, I think until we honestly face up to the issue we are never going to be able to deal with it, so it needs to be said. I think the reason porn is such a strong factor in our society is because for many it is better than sex. I know, most of you want to ring my neck for saying that. And given the fact that I am still ("technically") a virgin, should be all the more reason to believe I don't know what I am talking about, right? But before you discount me, maybe we should be asking the question why are otherwise perfect marriages wrecked by porn usage? Why are men and women literally throwing away their lives, their families, their relationships for this. So maybe, just maybe, for the next five days, give me the benefit of the doubt. If you think I am wrong, that's cool, but for five days just go along with it.

I will defend that stance more tomorrow (but this blog is getting seriously long). I will say this before I end this post, just because something may be better doesn't mean it is necessarily good for you (or society). Think of the ultimate cheeseburger. This is no McDonalds cheeseburger. This is no cheeseburger you have ever had in your life. This cheeseburger is so fatty, so delicious, so unbelievably life changing that the instant you finish digesting this cheeseburger you will certainly die of a heart attack. The reason: because you took eating outside the boundaries the heart was designed to handle. Now for those first 10 minutes it was probably the best thing that you have ever had, but that doesn't mean it was the best thing for you, nor does it mean the mass consumption of these cheeseburgers by society would be good for culture. That is the way I am going to approach porn for the next five days: it is the ultimate cheeseburger that will kill you.

Upcoming:
Wed: Reasons For Porn's Growth
Thus: What If My Partner Doesn't Care
Fri: What God Has To Say
Sat: Methods That Help

References:
Puremorality.org
Christianpost.com

Trueu.org

Blazinggrace.org

9 comments

Comment from: Tiffany [Visitor]
At first I didn't agree at all with your reasoning that porn is such a strong factor in our society because for many it is better than sex...but after giving it more thought, I do agree with you. However, I think that it's more in people's minds. I think that any time someone says sex isn't as good as porn would just be because of what your image of what could be and should be for sex is in your head. This is why porn ultimately ruins marriages. Porn creates a preconceived notion about sex that takes away from the intimacy of sex between man and wife. It's the same argument I have for when people question if they will be sexually compatible with someone. I believe a man and his wife will always be sexually compatible because God made us as sexually beings unless you come into a marriage with preconceive notions of what sex could and should be. Look forward to your blog, "What is my partner doesn't care"!

PermalinkPermalink 08/22/06 @ 17:28
Comment from: Sarah [Visitor]
So, I was going to leave a comment, but Tiffany basicly wrote out my thoughts already... thanks Tiff :)
PermalinkPermalink 08/22/06 @ 19:34
Comment from: Tiffany [Visitor]
Sarah...I'm glad you agreed with what I said. Now for my real question, do you ever think a partner can really be ok with porn? This is my big issue (and one Andy and I don't totally agree on). I'm curious to see what you say!

p.s. When are you going to come visit in Atlanta? You need to come check it out!
PermalinkPermalink 08/23/06 @ 22:08
Comment from: Patrick [Visitor]
"For the rest of the week, we are going to look at pornography from all angles, including some many of you probably have never considered."

I think I have a sick mind. Wow.
PermalinkPermalink 08/23/06 @ 23:24
Comment from: Sarah [Visitor]
First off... the trip to Atlanta is pending on me getting a job so that I can pay for the trip and then finding the time off to be able to come - so we shall see.

Second... hmmm... well being that I have never been married and never had a "partner" I might be off in left field here because I have no practical "experience" but my answer is no. I don't think that a partner SHOULD be okay with the other using porn. Now is it possible for them to be okay with it - sure I guess, but I don't think they should be. For me it all comes back to guarding your marriage and keeping it between one man and one woman. There's an intimacy (so I've been told) that is created in a marriage and call me a jealous freak - but I don't want anyone else in on my marriage :) So, I'm never going to be a propionate for porn in a marriage - sex therapy (or something along those lines of seeing a councilor) seems like a great options if there are problems or something but just busting out the porn to "get new ideas" or something like that, I am not okay with.

So, what do you think?
PermalinkPermalink 08/24/06 @ 12:37
Comment from: Tiffany [Visitor]
Sarah...hope the trip to Atlanta happens soon! I agree with what you said. For me, I've always argued with Andy over whether or not a partner will ever truly not care if their partner uses porn. Yes, there are people who say that they don't care (I know some of these people), but I don't truly believe that they don't care. I believe that the people, especially women, who say they don't care are still very hurt by it. Even taking Christianity out of it, I still believe that it hurts both partners because, like you said, it takes the intimacy out of sex between man and wife and winds up hurting marriages deeply even when a husband and wife try to use it to help their marriage. Speaking of, I’ve never heard of a relationship that porn did help. It always introduces that third element into a relationship and therefore takes away the intimacy of the relationship and leads to the end of it.

Patrick...if you have a sick mind, I do too because I read that and laughed! Thanks for pointing it out!
PermalinkPermalink 08/24/06 @ 18:13
Comment from: andy [Member] Email · http://www.2timothy42.org
Alright, all of you, read the next Thursday's post. Jeese. The problem with all of you is that while you might be right 95% of the time, there is 5% of the people that truly are not threatened by it. You can kick and screem and tell them they are a liar all you want. You can quote every single friend you have that says they are cool with it, but really aren't, but that still does not negate the scenrio that it IS possible that a partner truly does not care. So how do you talk to them? How do you communicate truth to them?
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/06 @ 13:35
Comment from: Tiffany [Visitor]
Alright, I do agree with you (no kicking or screaming) that there must be men or women who exist who are cool with their partner using porn. I would also totally agree with your analogy of saying to your girlfriend, “Jennifer Aniston is hot,” should not be threatening to her at all, much like I would assume my boyfriend would not be threatened if I made a comment while watching Nascar like, “Dale Earnhardt Jr. is the hottest racer ever.” Ultimately you’re making those statements independent of any feelings toward your partner.

I was just sharing with you what I have experienced myself and through talking with people I know about porn. You’re exactly right that porn takes away from experiencing sex to the fullest and this is the truth that we need to get out...and by no means do I mean just to the people we know who are not cool with their partner using porn or people we think are saying that they’re cool with their partner looking at porn, but really aren’t...but we need to communicate this truth to everyone, because they can handle it (touche?).

I do argue that you seem to be saying that the people who are not cool with their partner using porn are just insecure people. I’ve known many people who are very secure and still are not cool with their partner using porn. (this is where I think the Jennifer Aniston/Dale Jr. example doesn’t completely hold up because I think a woman or man who would be hurt by those comments isn’t secure) I don’t think it’s necessarily just an issue of security, but more knowing that something is missing from your relationship because you are experiencing sex that is, like you said, tainted and not the full and completely fun part of highs, lows, and everything in between!
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/06 @ 22:26
Comment from: andy [Member] Email · http://www.2timothy42.org
I was by no way implying that those who aren't cool with porn are insecure people. If that was read into that, it shouldn't have been, and I apologize.
PermalinkPermalink 08/27/06 @ 01:55

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