You have probably seen this by now. The preacher who prayed at the Nashville NASCAR Race last weekend. Thanked God for his "smokin hot wife." Seriously. 

Now I am a Ricky Bobby fan as much as the next guy. I have the film memorized. So I get the humor.

And I understand the thrill of praying before 43 cars start their 800 HP engines in front of 100,000 people. I had fun praying at Talladega and Atlanta races myself.

But when asked why he said this, the pastor said he hoped to get the attention of folks in the stands. He succeeded in that. I just never realized that prayers were intended to impress people or get their attention. Always figured they were intended for God. At least I hope so.

Aldred Pruden Wallace is an odd name for a man. His son, Peter, is my friend. Aldred lived his last 18 months in a nursing home, surviving on his small pension. He had no other possessions besides his wonderful, warm and generous spirit. 

The staff loved Aldred and would do anything for him. In his final few months, dementia set in, and Aldred created scenarios in his mind. For example, one day The President had consulted Aldred for advice on foreign policy. But most of the scenarios revolved around money. He thought he had $200MM left over from World War II and he really wanted to bless his caregivers and friends at the nursing home. 

So several times a day, Aldred would walk up to a caregiver, pull them aside and say quietly in their ear, ”I want to give you a million dollars because you’ve been so kind, so good to me.” The nursing home staff would chuckle when Peter came to visit, and say, “Your dad has been so generous with his money!”

But one day they found Aldred very quiet and withdrawn – out of character. He was like that for several days in a row. Then he died. Turned out he had had a stroke – and no one really knew it. The stroke had changed his personality.

The nurse said, “We knew something was wrong. When he quit giving, we knew something was clearly wrong.”

I hope that you and I become generous enough in life that when we stop giving, someone will say, "Surely something must be wrong!"

Mentioned this joke I received on the show last night and many of you asked for it in writing, so here you go. I pass on what I also received. Enjoy!

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender

('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands

their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate

with other computers is incomprehensible

to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long

term memory for possible later retrieval;

and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one,

you find yourself spending half your paycheck

on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded

that computers should be Masculine

('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,

you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't

think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve

problems, but half the time they ARE the

problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize

that if you had waited a little longer,

you could have gotten a better model.

The women won. 

While Christians get driven into hiding in parts of Egypt (when they are lucky enough not to have been killed in their own churches) during this thing non-thinkers call the "Arab Spring," other Christians are even less fortunate.

Consider this case in Iran. 

There is no Arab Spring. Just more of the same.

Yet another reason to be proud of America, where we are still free to practice our religions - whether Mormon, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, or even Muslim. A nice reminder that ideas still matter. Some ideas and principles lead to innovation, freedom, dignity, and prosperity. Others lead to oppression, poverty, and death. Choose well. 

Told you so. Now that "Gay marriage" has been created by New York and the floodgates have opened, polygamy will be the next "right."

The reality series family in Sister Wives is going to court to win the right to be a legal entity.

And, once you have divorced marriage from its one man/one woman moorings, who's to argue with the polygamists. They have a point. Several, I suppose :)

First, there is historical precedent for polygamy in multiple cultures. In fact, early Judaism blessed it. Mormon founder Joseph Smith practiced it. Islam has been filled with it since its founder Mohammed enjoyed multiple wives.

Second, polygamist marriages can bear children. And the relationships can be consummated. Openness to the gift of new life is central to the idea of marriage. And polygamists not only can create children but can do so so that the children not only know who their mother and father is but also have the chance to know them fully as they grow into adulthood.

So, here we go. It will be remarkable to see what the lovely institution of marriage looks like by mid-century (if I am still living). Sadly, we are playing with children and their lives and health while we experiment.

I ran into "Sam" at the post office. It's been a few years since I last saw him. 

When we last met, Sam was a leader in the financial services industry. Well-respected. Materially wealthy. A true innovator. And a kind man.

But last week, Same looked a little rough. When I asked how he was doing, he humorously replied, "Well, I tried to drink my way out of the recession. And I lost." Three weeks ago, Sam had a liver transplant. Explains why he looked subpar. But for a new liver recipient, he looked great. 

I learned that over the past few years, Sam has lost his companies, his house. And his liver.Indeed, alcohol was no match for the Great Recession. It never is.

Asked how he was doing, he replied, "I've been clean and sober for over a year now. And I've gotten my priorities back where they should have been all along. Now I just have some work to do in rebuilding family relationships that I damaged. And our church has been fantastic in helping us through."

Good for Sam. Some folks look to Washington for recovery. Others find recovery in a whole different way.

Also titled Ode to a Stolen Laptop in memory of my dear friend and holder of all my work and secrets. I will miss thee. May your pawn shop of new dwelling be air-conditioned and kind. May the taker have made money to buy a fifth of wine or a cup of joe or hardy food for the journey.

O LAPTOP! my Laptop! our fearful trip is done;

The RAM has weather'd every search, the prize we sought is won;

The end is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady screen, the keyboard grim and daring;

   But O heart! heart! heart!

     O the bleeding drops of red,

       Where in the pawn my Laptop lies,

         Fallen cold and dead.

I will be there. The final Harry Potter movie arrives next week, and I can't wait to see it.

In fact, I've even been invited me to help chaperone a group to share the fun of the midnight opener on the 15th. Millions of Americans will rush to be the first to see the grand finale. And I will be one of them.

That got me to thinking about how much of our lives is spent rushing. To be the first to get the new Iphone. To cram all of our errands into a single lunch hour. To count ourselves among those at the premiere of a new movie. We rush and rush. And often miss life itself.

My friend practices what he calls "centering prayer." Spend a few minutes at the beginning and end of each day, just being in the presence of God. Perhaps have a word or a verse that you focus your mind on, but seek to do nothing other than enjoy the presence of God. Bring yourself back to the center of your soul. That part made by and for God.

And you likely will find the place you should never have left in the first place.