Can we all please agree to retire the word “offended”? It has run its course. It needs a funeral. Frankly, I am offended by “offended.” “Offended” means thin-skinned, looking for a reason to take umbrage. “Offended” causes everyone to walk on eggshells and worry about the hypothetical possibility that a word, an event, a gesture, or even a look, might somehow cause offense. Oh, the worry!


Just for this one Christmas, can we all please agree to do two things:
1)Not use the word “offended” even one more time
2)Not have to erase who I am in order to appreciate who you are

Christmas Day approaches. Stocking-stuffers have been purchased. Egg nog has been consumed. Courthouse creche displays (and a menorah) have been removed by lawsuit (or the prevention of such) in towns like Wilkes-Barre, PA. Free-thinkers have their own “inclusive” holiday display at the Arkansas capitol. School play lyrics have been deleted or altered in Indiana and Georgia. Warm greetings have been edited in Targets and Wal-marts all across the land. Now, is everyone happy? Of course not.

We are not happy because we continue to expect someone else to fill our Christmas with joy. As long as we look to schools, governments, and retail chains to add meaning to Christmas, we will leave the month of December with less joy than when we began the month.

Nothing generates “offendedness” or lawsuits like Christmas. As we increasingly find, or give, offense in expressions of Christmas gladness or joy, we grow in pettiness. Pettiness evolves into mean-spiritedness. Mean-spiritedness matures into anger. And anger usually results in a lawsuit, or a conspicuous display of emotion. None of these things bring joy into Who-ville at Christmas.

So, I, for one, am voicing my conscientious objection to any participation in the war on Christmas. Count me out. I will serve neither as a Christmas combatant nor as a Christmas defender. This December, I have been a full-fledged, card-carrying Christmas War pacifist. The Christmas War is much like the war in Afghanistan: no one has any idea how to define victory. All we know is that the fighting continues unabated.

Why am I a Christmas War conscientious objector? Because I have discovered that my church (Catholic) and I can express our Christmas mirth and glee just fine. We do not need the help of the county courthouse, nor that of our public school, or even that of our warehouse superstore. The Church's faith and my own can find ample opportunities for full expression of Christmas joy in sharing what we have received.

We shall give. We shall sing. We shall celebrate. And we shall not expect public schools or governments to do that for us.

Through faith, we know we have received a great gift from God. The gift of His love in the gift of His Son. A helpless boy born in a feed trough in a stable behind an old run-down motel. God has come to us.

The Christmas gift has changed me. I hope it will change others, but I can only control me. I am responsible for how I live out my faith at Christmas. My family enjoys doing that together. My church helps us do just that.

Our goal is to give without any hope for reciprocation. We hope to smile without looking for a compliment in return. We decorate trees for our own pleasure and delight in them without need of validation from any governing body. We set up Christmas nativity displays that express our faith in our own yards and in the front lawn of our church. Others will see those displays, but they can choose for themselves whether to participate or believe. After all, those observers have been made in the same image as we. Faith and the Christmas gift are theirs to choose or to reject.

We celebrate Christmas for it is we who have received. We do not expect or require others to celebrate for us. We are fully capable of doing that for ourselves. We will invite others to join us for the joy is too much to hold to oneself. We will not coerce others to do so. We have received the Christmas gift.

Other believers seem to have figured out this Seuss-esque lesson. Christmas is not found in a school or a super-store. If it is to be found at all, Christmas will be found in you and in the Church of God's people who have embraced the Christmas gift. The emergence of the Advent Conspiracy movement among many believers speaks to this truth. More than a million people have viewed the Advent Conspiracy video message on YouTube, and they have received the invitation to spend less but give more. Spend less on gifts and holiday frenzy. Give more to help persons in need in the name of the Christmas Giver.

Our family has sought to do just that in a few small ways the past few years. Rather than giving fellow family members yet another pair of socks or an unneeded bright red sweater vest, we each make a gift of time and money to serve children in need here in America and in the rest of the world. We give because we have received. No other reason. We do not need more stuff. We need more life.

We do not expect others to do the Christmas giving for us or even the celebration. We and the Church can manage just fine. Others can decide for themselves what they will do at Christmas. Either way, we shall rejoice (and refrain from the silly Christmas wars that distract).