Allen Hunt's Blog
Where Real Life and Faith Come Together
Great calls last night on the show from men who cheated, sharing why they strayed from the marriage. Powerful calls from women who were the betrayed wives or the "other woman." If you missed it, listen here. The 3 Fire Prevention tools - to keep your spouse from straying 1) Appreciation - remember John Gottman's rule that positive interactions need to outnumber negative by a ratio of 5:1. I.e., 5 times as many compliments, smiles, pats, kisses on the cheek, and words of encouragement as there are rolled eyes, harsh words, criticisms, etc.. This explains why so many men feel "unappreciated." As the relationship ages, we often forget to say "thank you," or "you really do a great job." We take each other for granted, distance sets in, and then straying becomes more attractive as the man meets someone who offers him appreciation and a sense of being valued. 2) Communication - never underestimate the power of talking to each other. Affairs often occur when men feel like "she doesn't understand me or care." Again, it is easy to ignore basic communication as the relationship ages. Take time to talk. A simple way to do this is to be sure to eat at least one meal together per day. That time is building a small investment, little by little, day by day, to maintain the basic communication in the marriage. Sexual intimacy also contributes to this. It is an important part of emotional communication and connection for men. If you are having trouble communicating with each other, get help. Get help sooner than later because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to begin communicating again. Frustration and pain will be buried, and the lines will be blocked. 3) Remember - remember what attracted you to your spouse in the first place. When you are feeling distant or frustrated, remember why you fell in love with him at the start. His work ethic, or his eyes,or his sense of humor, or his mind. Whatever it is. Remember that - and tell him. Tell him you are proud of him and that he has validated why you found him so attractive in the first place. These 3 are not guarantees but they dramatically reduce the likelihood of affairs. Time proven, simple, and virtually free. Choose to do these three and you choose well.
What's Allen Up To?
The Allen Hunt Show is about faith and life, plain and simple. According to a Gallup Poll in May of 2005, 85% of Americans consider their faith important or fairly important to their lives. Yet there is a gap on the talk radio airwaves that examines where faith and life come together. This show fills that gap like nothing currently on the radio. This is not one more political talk show, nor is it another faith-based counseling show because ultimately, life is not about what is right or left, but about what is right and wrong. The Allen Hunt Show takes on real life issues, with real life people, to see how faith can have a real impact. Join us on Saturdays from 9-12 PM and Sundays from 6-9 PM. Blessings!
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